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#59 Completed – I’ve read all about it

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How much of a newspaper do you actually read? I always feel a bit bad when I am handed a freshly-inked, perfectly-ironed copy of the Metro on the fringes of any London train station I find myself passing through. I know that I am going to look at the pictures, then the headlines and maybe a couple lines of prose. The vast majority of knowledge that could be gleaned from that publication is completely wasted and, unless I leave it looking appetising on my cushioned seat for another reader, it is unlikely to be seen ever again.

So, my task was to read an entire newspaper. And it began exactly a week ago with a journey down to my local Whyteleafe newsagent. I was looking across the various copies of media press on offer. Despite, the draw of going for a national paper, I opted for the local division of the Croydon AdvertiserYes, it may be a tad shorter in terms of volume compared to a Sunday publication but I thought it would actually be interesting to find out what happens in my area.

 

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And exactly a week it took me to read. I have to say capturing every character imprinted onto the page (including the lonely ‘Y M C K’ of every footer) was not the most invigorating of experiences. But I did learn a few things along the way.

Firstly, who knew you could sell floods? Secondly, I had no idea that in the lonely hearts column, you can actively seek married people? Surely, that is encouraging adultery?

Another one was regarding the adverts for workmen. Now, I know I am sometimes pedantic about spelling and mine is not always perfect, but when you are advertising your business on a postage stamp-size area, do you not think you might want to get the 20 words of description proof read? Or when writing a list of 6 qualities about your business, do you not want to check that you haven’t said the same thing twice? Now, I know that I might be able to be critical of their English as much as they deservedly would criticise my workmanship but when I pick a workman I want to know that the person is going to be thorough. These adverts are giving me quite an antonymous air.

Anyways, aside from that, enjoyed finding out about my local area, though an awful lot seems to happen in Coulsdon… The highlight for me was definitely Ian Holloway’s rambling column.

Only problem is, I’m overdue for the next issue. So I can conclude that newspapers are not designed for you to read every character of them. But a week’s reading for 70 pence isn’t too bad.



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